i've been having ballet everyday,
i think im gonna die very soon.
yeah its energy draining man.




going back to school yesterday felt normal.
after all, the hols were only like a week?
never enough.
mrs khoo had to write the '18 DAYS TO EXAMS' thing on the board.
and mrs loy had to go 'THREE WEEKS TO YOUR EXAMS AH GIRLS'
gosh, the stress is driving me mad.



had ballet at 7 30.
we did the whole advance1 syllabus :o
the starting part of bar was okay,
then suddenly
this alienatic people from i-dont-know-where walked in.
they shooked ms ong hand and talked to her abit,
before they sat down beside her.
all of us were like 'huh?'
and ms ong just asked us to continue.



from then,
i started screwing up everything.
like seriously EVERYTHING.
and ms ong had to keep telling me to calm down.
'nat, dont tense up!'
'with confidence nat!'
confidence.
wowee.
i cant be confident doing ballet.
cos i just dont feel comfortable doing it.
so how do you become confident doing something
you dont feel comfortable doing?
its like asking a monkey to walk properly.




and i was thinking to myself,
if i already screwed up so badly like that
what more on thursday when we have to perform in the studio?
oh crap.
and whats worse is my ballet exam's after that.
die lah die.




eunice's exam is tomorrow.
gosh, i wonder how she must be feeling.
ALL THE BEST GIRL!
remember, smileeeee and make eye contact with her okay.
you'll be great (:
sorry i couldnt wish you today in person haha.




woke up this morning with a head burning like mad.
and everything was like tipsy turvy.
so i didnt go to school.
took medicine and slept all the way to 12 30.
yeah i know. damn pig.
woke up, took my medicine again.
and here i am!
with my chem book staring me in the face.
speaking of chem,
i wonder if ms ho missed her favourite student today hmm.
HAHA okay i think the medicine's getting to my head.



val told me cheetah lady fell on her ass today
when tofu pushed her chair back or something.
har har har.
i bet if it was me or val,
she would have already scratched us with her claws.




im wearing two layers of socks,
with my dance jacket over my tee.
with my slacks,
with no form of wind in my room except the open window
and yet im still so cold.
my dad thinks im mad.



if i dont get well by thursday,
im dead.




val : so how are you feeling?
me : i sound like jon leong when i talk.
val : omg your voice is hoarse? sexy!
me: sexy meh?
val: yes it is! okay maybe not for you.
me: eh. eh. all the same okay (hahaha)




okay chem's calling my name.
byee




have you ever been alone in a crowded room;